whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
