i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
