your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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