May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
