TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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