so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
