If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
