i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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