She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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