This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I currently don't understand fingers.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
