I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
well you can't waste a boner
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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