We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
