I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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