mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
