Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I need to calm my uterus...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
