dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
