I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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