Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
