i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
