That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
