So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
