PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
