Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
