It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
