like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
