I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
