I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize