I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I CAN MOONWALK!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
And then he peed in my hair
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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