So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
