They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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