careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
