Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
