At least make sure they are 18
Why
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
