don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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