after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
