Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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