can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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