Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
