I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
