the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
