i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
