I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Randomize
