He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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