Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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