I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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