Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
