I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
