I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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