Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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