Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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