where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
