Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
