It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
