Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
