Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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