I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
