She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
